There’s No Guilt in Homecare

If your older parent or relative needs home care the decision may come with mixed emotions.

Largely, guilt might cause a relative to not seek care when it is needed most. Children of an elderly relative might feel guilty for not being able to care for their parent themselves. But there are a few things I’ve learned along the way supporting that home care is a great option for an ailing mom or dad.

First, retain your role as their child again. You probably have spent so much time as a caregiver that you forgot how it was just to be a daughter or son. The special relationship you had as a mother daughter has now become as a caregiver and patient. In these final years, wouldn’t it be wonderful to maintain the same relationship you have shared with your parent all these years? Wouldn’t you want to remember your mom or dad for the loving parent they were and not for the difficult patient they are now?

Second, let the trained professional take care of mom or dad the proper way. There is something to be said for going to school and being trained to care for someone the correct way. As with any other trade, there is a right way and a wrong way to shower someone, dress them, etc. Caring for someone the wrong way can result in unforeseen injuries. Older adults have sensitive skin and weak bones. What seems like a gentle touch to you may not be for that person. It’s usually best to put a fragile person in the hands of someone that has gone through the proper schooling and obtained a license. Caregivers are well trained to deal with the elderly in various situations.

If these aren’t good enough reasons, what about peace of mind? The emotional toll that caregiving take on can be emotionally and physically draining. As a professional, I’ve seen many times the caregiver run themselves so emotionally drained that they too become sick. Remember that you aren’t doing anyone any good if you are sick yourself.

Home care provides a wonderful alternative for care in which the client doesn’t have to leave their home. Caregivers can provide companionship, hands on care, meals and transportation. Families can get respite from the day to day stress of worrying about their parent. Children should realize that they should not feel guilty but rather understand that what they are doing for their parent is in their best interest. For more information about home care options, contact  (732) 329-8954 x1 or by email at

Adult Medical Day Care for Seniors… The Best Kept Secret for the Aging!

Your parents are aging.

Dementia/Alzheimer’s has crept in and created havoc in both your lives and theirs. Suddenly you realize they are no longer safe at home. As you ponder your options, things become very real. You may begin facing a gruesome reality… moving your loved one from their home. As you start your homework and weigh out your options, you start to realize the costs and challenges involved in placing a loved with in a nursing home or assisted living. Costs for long term care range from $6–$10K per month. Most facilities also will not offer Medicaid until a resident has been there for years to even be considered an option for payment. You also have to get your mom or dad on board with your decision that they will likely fight you on, regardless of whether or not it’s in their best interest.

However, to many, the best option remains unknown to most… adult medical daycare. Very much like the daycare your kids went to when they were small, adult day care focuses on a secure, safe environment that caters to the cognitive abilities of those suffering from Alzheimer’s and dementia as well as other medical conditions. A licensed RN and social worker are always on staff as well as licensed caregivers to help with the daily needs of the clients. There are hot meals and a full day filled with arts and crafts, exercise, and plenty of activities to keep them stimulated. Clients can even shower at the facility. At most centers, there is transportation to and from the center. And unlike long term care facilities, most adult day centers will accept Medicaid as a form of payment. At Buckingham Place Adult Day Center in Monmouth Junction, NJ there are several payment options for clients, such as a NJ grant that offers a sliding scale payment to those who might not necessarily qualify for Medicaid.

Far and beyond, the biggest benefit to your loved one is that they will get to go home at night. Unlike having to transition into a nursing facility, transitioning into an adult day center is much less stressful on the person because when the day ends they get to see their families, go back to their spouse, pets, friends, and mostly relax in familiar surroundings. Many clients see their day as if they were going to work or school again. The routine of getting up, going out the door and getting home at night is a reminder of their younger days.

Of course, there are times when a parent or a relative simply needs the care of a nursing facility, however, for many, adult day care remains a very feasible and valuable option. At the very least, it will put off that awful decision of “where should I send mom?” or “how are we going to tell her it’s time to move?” In adult day care, they don’t have to move, they can still be stimulated with activities, friends and receive quality care, yet be able to stay in their homes. An option most don’t even know exists.